Wednesday, July 6, 2016

El ataúd del Vampiro (AKA Vampire's Coffin), 1958, Staring: Abel Salazar, Ariadna Welter, and Germán Robles. Directed by Fernando Méndez

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Stumbling around on Netflix in the "horror' genera is always A. disappointing, and B. a gamble. There is no shortage of bad Z rate independent films that fall short in many different ways. Not saying I could make movies that looked half as good as most of them, but still, I am going to devote my time to a couple hours of sitting still (pretty difficult for me) it better grab me from the get go and keep me at least entertained.

Luckily for Vampire's Coffin, it did just that. Right at the beginning, they are busting open a tomb. Good job guys, that makes me want to know why you are trying to steal a vampire body and also why granite slabs weigh basically that same as pieces of plywood in Mexico. Consider me roped in. 

Cue the crazy screaming lady. Check. Put vampire coffin in fancy herse and drive to.... hospital? Sure, check. 

This movie is a bit confusing, however, they do a nice job of filling you in by using some expositionary dialogue and if you would rather watch another black and white film made a year earlier, because this is actually a sequel, feel free. I didn't and I figured 98% of everything out except for the mysterious aunt.

This movie, like a lot of movies from this era, has a couple pretty weird dance numbers, and even more odd, these appear to be based on a theater adaptation of "Prince of Foxes" at least that is what the sign says, in english no less, however I thought that book was about a blacksmiths adventures, but hey maybe I am thinking of the wrong book. I am no officianato on dance, but I have no idea what kind of dancing this is suppose to be or why the girls seem to be very bored and the men are these dancing machines that are doing wild pirouettes and arial jumps.

Also going way back to the beginning, did anyone else think it was weird that because he was staked you could see his skeleton in the mirror but not his skin? Yeah me too, it left me wondering if that was an all the time thing, worry not they answer that question for you later, although it will just make you have more questions, at least it did me.

The effects were extremely hit and miss. Of course we are talking about a movie made in 1958. The fades, vanishing, and walking through walls were all superbly done for the age of this film, with that said, the vampire bat has visible wires 86% of the time and for some reason it is making noises I equate with the gulls that fly around here. They do get extra points for what ever sort of adorable bat they used for the face close ups though, he was stinking cute and I want to kiss his nose.

On to the torturous wax museum. First, can some one please tell me if wax museums are just really full of torture devices all the time? This is the 3rd movie where one is just basically an elaborate front to keep deadly devices of torture in plain view. Secondly, I would ask why a wax museum would ever need a security guard, but that question is very quickly answered when they decapitate one of the wax figures. Side question, if that is a regular part of the tour, do they just reattach his head every night? I have very little knowledge of wax museums, except they make me skittish. At any rate, the vampires coffin is hiding down in the sub-basement, and of course hi-jinx ensue.

I would say if you are a fan of vintage vampire horror, give this a watch. It was not scary in the least, not really even suspenseful, but the bumbling doctors and nurse turned dancer are fairly entertaining. The only thing I couldn't figure out is if the aunt is some sort of shape shifter or if I just wasn't paying enough attention.

If you end up watching it, feel free to leave comments or send me an email letting me know what you thought! 

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Again? Why did you not update for so long?

Tuesday, July 5, 2016
-Is what I am assuming you are all saying, if you are even still here to read this in the first place.

Well, the be honest, I am very burnt out. Captioning the show took up far more time than I ever thought possible (up to 18 hours per week) which is fine, but when you watch the same movie for 18 hours, it makes you never want to watch any movie ever again.

That being said, after captioning a movie, and possibly writing for the show, the last thing I felt like doing was watching ANOTHER movie and writing about that for my blog. In addition to that there have been other things that have been draining, just little things that keep happening that are just exhausting. We moved to Channel 8 proper so people with dish could see us, and now due to some kerfuffle, they cannot. We added the kitchen segment to help take up time, which it does, but ingredients cost money, which is in limited supply... blah, blah, blah, the random tedium goes on and on.

Please don't get me wrong, I still love making Midnite Mausoleum. It just get's a bit repetitive after 7 years and change. Myself and Blake have been mulling over our options and trying to figure out some new ways to "breathe life" back into the show, or should that be breathe death?

I am on "vacation" from the show until the fall, and I am hoping by then I will have more drive again for M.M. related things. I am still making all the scheduled appearances I promised I would, because after all, the only reason I am still making M.M. at all is because of all the amazing people who (should that be whom? I need to buy some books on how to speak english and grammar) I have met over the years who truly love watching the show. It was never about the money or the "fame", in fact, I have no want of fame. I am shy and like to sit out in my garden and eat lettuce, because apparently I am the human reincarnation of a rabbit. When I say vacation, it always has quotation marks around it because even though I am not actively writing and recording new episodes, I am still taking care of orders, helping design things, watching movies that might be in episodes next 'season', and various other M.M. related things.

With all that aside, now that I AM on 'vacation', I will be updating here much more often. I am sure you have noticed there have been many cosmetic changes around here. I am still working on them. I need to take new photos of myself, green hair and all that, I just have not found a good time yet. I also have added some new categories to the blog: 'girly reviews' and 'plants', I figure that since I buy things (mainly cosmetics, I am garbage at clothing) and garden on a daily basis, it should give me some things to write about.

There will probably be more also in the future as I continue to work on my fantasy book I have been working on for, I don't know, about 8 years at this point (that sounds amazing, trust me though, it is mostly because I am constantly questioning if I should even be trying to write in the first place rather than that I am the next J.R.R. Tolkien or even the next Stephanie Meyer... Yikes, I hope it isn't that girly. Credit where credit is due though, even though I am not a fan, she has written several books which have made her mega money, so if nothing else she knows what people want and she delivered.) And also, I am attempting to start a little weekly 3 panel webcomic about my cats (with some heavy artistic license).

I may or may not also do some book reviews. I generally read rather fluffy books, since I have plenty of drama and conflict in my day to day life, however, if any one has any books they think I should be reading that involve: Horror, steampunk, supernatural, gothic, sci-fi, victorian era, or comedy send me an email at My current favorite authors are Gail Carriger and A. Lee Martinez if that helps any, and bonus points if it is available on audible, because then I can listen to it while I package orders and drive all over the place.

So now you have a little window into my mess of a brain. I hope you are all doing well and summer is treating you awesomely. Thanks for sticking with me, if you are still here.