Wednesday, July 6, 2016

El ataúd del Vampiro (AKA Vampire's Coffin), 1958, Staring: Abel Salazar, Ariadna Welter, and Germán Robles. Directed by Fernando Méndez

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Stumbling around on Netflix in the "horror' genera is always A. disappointing, and B. a gamble. There is no shortage of bad Z rate independent films that fall short in many different ways. Not saying I could make movies that looked half as good as most of them, but still, I am going to devote my time to a couple hours of sitting still (pretty difficult for me) it better grab me from the get go and keep me at least entertained.

Luckily for Vampire's Coffin, it did just that. Right at the beginning, they are busting open a tomb. Good job guys, that makes me want to know why you are trying to steal a vampire body and also why granite slabs weigh basically that same as pieces of plywood in Mexico. Consider me roped in. 

Cue the crazy screaming lady. Check. Put vampire coffin in fancy herse and drive to.... hospital? Sure, check. 

This movie is a bit confusing, however, they do a nice job of filling you in by using some expositionary dialogue and if you would rather watch another black and white film made a year earlier, because this is actually a sequel, feel free. I didn't and I figured 98% of everything out except for the mysterious aunt.

This movie, like a lot of movies from this era, has a couple pretty weird dance numbers, and even more odd, these appear to be based on a theater adaptation of "Prince of Foxes" at least that is what the sign says, in english no less, however I thought that book was about a blacksmiths adventures, but hey maybe I am thinking of the wrong book. I am no officianato on dance, but I have no idea what kind of dancing this is suppose to be or why the girls seem to be very bored and the men are these dancing machines that are doing wild pirouettes and arial jumps.

Also going way back to the beginning, did anyone else think it was weird that because he was staked you could see his skeleton in the mirror but not his skin? Yeah me too, it left me wondering if that was an all the time thing, worry not they answer that question for you later, although it will just make you have more questions, at least it did me.

The effects were extremely hit and miss. Of course we are talking about a movie made in 1958. The fades, vanishing, and walking through walls were all superbly done for the age of this film, with that said, the vampire bat has visible wires 86% of the time and for some reason it is making noises I equate with the gulls that fly around here. They do get extra points for what ever sort of adorable bat they used for the face close ups though, he was stinking cute and I want to kiss his nose.

On to the torturous wax museum. First, can some one please tell me if wax museums are just really full of torture devices all the time? This is the 3rd movie where one is just basically an elaborate front to keep deadly devices of torture in plain view. Secondly, I would ask why a wax museum would ever need a security guard, but that question is very quickly answered when they decapitate one of the wax figures. Side question, if that is a regular part of the tour, do they just reattach his head every night? I have very little knowledge of wax museums, except they make me skittish. At any rate, the vampires coffin is hiding down in the sub-basement, and of course hi-jinx ensue.

I would say if you are a fan of vintage vampire horror, give this a watch. It was not scary in the least, not really even suspenseful, but the bumbling doctors and nurse turned dancer are fairly entertaining. The only thing I couldn't figure out is if the aunt is some sort of shape shifter or if I just wasn't paying enough attention.

If you end up watching it, feel free to leave comments or send me an email letting me know what you thought! 

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